Stuffography

May 12, 2013

It used to take almost 5 hours to get to Omama from Gotemba. A new toll road has been built that takes about 2 hours off of that. I think we left about 11:00 am. Hiyori came along for the ride and played on her Gameboy until she  fell asleep in the back seat.

Didn’t have any traffic and had a pretty view the most of the way. We made a couple bathroom/snack stops and it seemed like we got close to our destination fairly quickly. It also helped that Ryosuke has a mobile WiFi device in his van and I was able to message with my pretty girlfriend the whole way.

We finally got to within about 10 kilometers (a little over 6 miles) of the house and time seemed to come to a halt. My heart rate increased. My palms began to sweat. I closed my eyes and took 10 deep breaths. It relaxed me a little bit, but it still seemed like we were so far away.

We’re 5 kilometers away and it still seems far. We’re hitting every red light. The last few kilometers feel like it takes another hour, but in reality it was only a few minutes. I see the house. We pull into a dirt lot next to it, out of view from the front door.

I’m pretty nervous at this point. I know their is no backing down though. It’s been too long since I’ve seen my baby girl. I’ve had too much help to get me to this point. I’m doing it for myself and Veronica first, but also for all the people that helped me get to Japan.

I walked to the front door which was about 40 yards away. I notice only one car in the car port. I have a photo album/scrapbook that I had prepared for Veronica in my right hand. I get to the door, with Ryosuke about 15 feet behind me, and I take a quick pause, then I knock. A few seconds go by and I hear a voice, but I can’t understand what was said. I look back at Ryosuke and he says “Open the door”. I open the door to see Veronica’s grandma. She looks like she just saw a ghost. I freeze. I may have said hello, but I didn’t know what to say, in English or Japanese.

Ryosuke talks with her for about 5-10 minutes. I found out that Veronica and her mom do live at that house, but they are gone for the day. I can see the hate in her eyes, but she agrees to pass Ryosukes phone number on to Veronica’s mom to call us later and discuss seeing Veronica. She goes to another part of the house to call Veronica’s mom. I notice a picture of Veronica, slightly hidden by a plant, on a shelf to my right. I think it was probably a few years old, but a lot newer than the most recent pictures that I have of her. She looks just like I remember her. Pretty. Happy. Perfect. I thought about stealing it. They probably wouldn’t even notice. Later I realized that I should have just taken a picture with my phone.

The grandma comes back to the front door area. They talk another 5-10 minutes with me still standing at the door, holding it open. I’m not too sure of what exactly is being said, but I can tell that the grandma really hates me. Ryosuke assures to me that he’ll explain everything when we get back to the van.

We get in the van and we need gas, drinks, and a bathroom. We take care of that and head towards my hotel. Ryosuke explains to me that Veronica’s mom is supposed to call him so we can discuss whether or not I can see my daughter.  About 5 minutes later his phone starts ringing. It’s her. He pulls over so he can talk. They talk for a bit and he gives her all my contact info. She says that she will ask Veronica if she wants to see me and call my hotel at some point during the week.

We finally get back to my hotel. I think it was sometime around 6:00 pm. I need food and a shower. I get cleaned up, grab a camera and set out to find something to eat. I probably walked for close to an hour before I decided on this little Italian place that has a bar. I order a Margherita Pizza and a glass of Maker’s Mark. The pizza takes a while, but it’s worth the wait. I ate the whole thing and have another drink or two. I was only about a quarter mile from my hotel but I take a long walk back and make it there about 10:00 pm.

Not too long after I’m back in my room the phone rings. It’s Veronica’s mom. She tells me that Veronica doesn’t want to see me and that she’s scared of me. The only reason she would be scared of me is from her mom lying to her about me. I try to hold it together and finish talking but the tears are already falling. I ask her if she could at least send me a picture and she says that she’ll try. I know that she won’t. When we finally hang up I completely lose it. I cry for a long time, not sure how long. I’m shaking, sweating, face covered in tears. I feel defeated. I want to come home. I have never felt worse in my life.

The crying starts to slow a little and I message my now Fiancee Caroline to tell her what happened and how I’m feeling. We message for about an hour and she was able to not only calm me down, but have me thinking about my next move to get Veronica in our life. It’s about 1:30 in the morning for me and I’m ready to try and get some sleep. I say goodnight to Caroline and finally lay down. 

I didn’t get to see Veronica, but I now know where she lives. I’m not going to ever give up trying to have some kind of relationship with her. Thank you to everyone that helped me accomplish my first goal of finding her.

I hope you see this Veronica. There is no reason to be scared of me. I just want to see you, hug you and love you.